Thanks for explaining Anna. I am one of the ones whose problems/issues definitely don't go away once I stop drinking... in some ways they seem more amplified. I do want to look at my recovery as an overall change in my life/lifestyle but so far sometimes it is just a struggle to not drink and stay focused on the task at hand. I'm not saying they're "cravings" per se... I don't even really know what that means... like, I rarely think "I want/need a drink right now," nor do I really sit and reminisce/fantasize about the smell or taste of alcohol etc. There is definitely an aspect of having known a life of being the "party girl" and always escaping my feelings/myself by going out and drinking, and so it's quite a change to stay at home or not do those things, and I think sometimes it's about mourning old habits/things I thought I wanted/who I thought I was. But what it often is is this feeling that I am just crazy, and nothing will make me not crazy, so why not drink to get away from those thoughts?! But then I think it through and realize that drinking just made my problems worse, not better, and that it's not a healthy way to deal with things, so I just have all these crazy thoughts and nothing to do with them. It's not that I want to drink but more that I wonder what I *do* want or if I will ever feel satisfied.
I apologize for I fear I'm not making the most sense today. I'm rambly. And I don't mean to hijack Bayliss's thread. I just want to get to this place of contentment that I hear about and sometimes I have it but other times I'm even more all over the place. I want it to be about a new life rather than just not drinking but I do still obsess about the alcohol (or lack thereof) part of it.