Originally Posted by
skarletstarlet 
...The dr says since XAF admits he has a problem but thinks he can stop alone, we should let him try. HELLO!? we've been doing this for months... thanks so much.
I have to go see the dr tomorrow for my daughter's cough. Will be sure to thank him for treating me like an idiot and making my XAF think he doesn't have a problem.
"...we should let him..." Because you have no choice.
This was a wise doctor. There's nothing he can do about your XAF's problem, and there's nothing you can do about it either.
But there's something the doctor could do about
you: he could remind you that the most appropriate action you could take in this matter is to "let him" (as if you have a choice) handle his drinking problem his way.
I hope you did not scold the doctor. The doctor did not "
MAKE" your XAF think he doesn't have a problem. Your XAF
ALREADY thought he didn't have a problem before he walked into the doctor's office.
He was not treating you like an idiot. He was treating you with respect. He gave you excellent advice and refused to be triangulated into a dysfunctional dance between you and your XAF.
What do you mean by "...we've been doing this for months..."? How have 'you' as part of 'we' been doing this? I'm guessing HE chose to drink and you were powerless to do anything. So what was your part in "we've been doing this"?
No authority figure can make your XAF stop drinking: no judge, no jailor, no parent, no child, no boss, no doctor, no pharmacist, no lover, no priest, NOBODY....