Originally Posted by
yez5 
But how do you know when it comes to you? Is there an AHA! moment? Will there be a light? I just want to make sure I don't miss it. Because lately I am running on anger, misery and the fumes of momentary happiness.
For me it took time and a lot of work. I went to meetings and learned to work the steps with a sponsor, and I listened to those who went before me. It came a while after I took my focus off my son and everyone else and began to work on me.
I was able to stand in my own truth when I was confident that my heart and my head were in a healthy place, when I found enough self-esteem to know what my values were.
There is a saying here "What others think of me is none of my business". That's huge for us people-pleasing codies. What matters is what we think of ourselves.
When the time comes you will know it. It may be the first time you say "no" and mean it. It may be when you share something deep about yourself with people who are safe, here or at a meeting, and then know in your heart that just being able to say it out loud was healing and that your feelings are valid....because you KNOW they are.
It will happen, and when it does you will love the freedom and courage it brings you.
Hugs