I plan on counseling for both of us. I think it will help us both. Spes, parts of my story are on here if you do a look up with keepingmyjoy, but it was a very scary time last time. So I am on alert because he can get very mean when drinking. He never actually hurt me, but the walls and doors are scarred. He got sober for a long time before I would consider going back to him. And here I am again...I am looking forward to the peacefulness again, and the lack of absolute craziness. The tough time getting there will be worth it! How are you holding up Spes? Kiana, thanks and you are so right!