Greetings again everyone. I posted on someone else's thread for the first time early this month. I knew back then that I had to seriously change course because I felt dead inside. No war stories here but to clarify, I was first prescribed Hydrocodone 5/500 about 9 years ago after a diagnosis of a multitude of lower back issues. Guess what? They worked and I took them as prescribed with no adverse effects. Fast forward to last December and I had ultimately graduated to at least 2 x 30mg OxyContin AND at least 4 x 10/500 Lortabs a day. Mind you this was all legally prescribed for pain and it still took care of pain but I felt like a real hollow man inside. Hard to describe but I'm sure folks here know exactly what I mean. Like the Pink Floyd song Comfortably Numb, it seemed like "the child was gone, the dream was gone". I'm an active guy with a real zest for life and adventure in general but it truly felt like the curtains were closing on my mind and my life. I was terrified of the WD's that I've read about and partially experienced myself on many occasions in the past when my scrips wouldn't last a full month so that put me off for a few months. Hard to believe the first few times it happened, I actually thought that I did have a flu or something. Never did I consider how hooked I was. Until recently.
I finally strapped a pair on and told my Doc that I wanted off narcotic pain meds and was going to wean myself down slowly. The Doc was "kind of" supportive I guess and gave me a scrip for 50mg Tramadol tabs to help. I wasn't crazy about the rot gut sensation I got from them, their high price and the fact that they have an SSRI component about them. I didn't want to get into a habit with "feel good" meds and while not considered a narcotic, I read that the damn Trams also attach to opiate receptors in the brain. Just like regular Opies just not quite the same buzz potential. I stopped taking them after just 4 or 5 days.
So as the title of this post says, here's where I'm at now. I so did not want to deal with full blown WD's that I committed myself to a relatively aggressive taper. As of 1 week ago I successfully eliminated the OxyContins completely and currently only take 3 x 10/500 Lortabs a day. While I already feel much better I know I have a ways to go yet. The plan is to continue tapering to about 5 or 10mg daily of Hydrocodone and then leap into cleanville. I know that sharing "experience, strength and hope" is important in any feat of recovery so I'll close for now and thank you folks for being here too.
BTW, the jimmy legs are still annoying and the head games are non-stop since my aggressive taper has me on the verge of WD symptoms since I'm only dosing thrice daily (for now). My back is on fire but I am determined to push through the pain because as one poster said on a forum (not sure if it was SR or not) "we are finally alive again, the clouds lift slowly and our brains must again start making the chemicals that we were artificially supplying for so long". That might not be 100% accurate but it fits how I feel lately. It's fun to be alive again!
