You need to get some help with this. You can get help voluntarily now, confidential, all that... or you can wait until you get caught.... Not if, but when... Then it's gonna be get help now, the way you are told to do it, or forget the career thing.... Also, hospitals and such tend to pursue criminal charges as well.
It's ugly, newspapers, all that. I see it happen all the time.
Your post worries me. You know the consequences, you know that this sh1t is bad news, the alcohol, everything... yet you know you are gonna hit the dilaudid this weekend.
Is there anything any of us can say? To make you get help? Frankly, I recommend you not go to work, at all, until you get this problem fixed. If you are a health care worker (I am assuming you are... licensed and all) you could hurt someone else, by commission or omission. Someone innocent, who needs you there, clean and sober, to help, not hurt.
