I was responding to another thread, and then realized I was writing much more than planned and would have ended up hijacking the thread.
I have completely cut myself off from my friends since I quit drinking, just over 3 weeks ago. I didn't really plan to do it, but since I am not drinking, I don't go to bars, and that is all I did with my friends. It really made me come to the conclusion that I don't really have many "friends". I don't have someone to call up and talk to about all of this. These people that I considered to be friends would not understand and I only hung out with them to drink. We had an occasional dinner now and then, but always followed by drinks. I know there are a select few that would still hang out even if I wasn't drinking, but I am not ready to face that yet.
People that I have met along the way that don't drink, and probably would have been great friends, I have pushed away. Why would I want to be friends with someone that doesn't do the one thing that was fun for me? So, my next step is to get in contact with someone that clearly wanted to be my friend and hang out without drinking but I always had an excuse. That is what I want and need in my life right now.
I have not even told my friends that I quit drinking and I get an occasional invite out now, but not many. Only one person has asked me how I am doing and inquired about why I am not hanging out anymore. That is only because he knows what happened to make me want to stop. I know for a fact that I have a tendency to push people away and not let anyone close. Sarcasm has always been my best friend. I have a good idea as to why I do this and I feel that I am making positive changes in my life for me to change this in the future. Staying sober is now at the top of that list.
If I didn't have SR, all of this would be inside of me and no one to share it with!