All the pretzel like twists I was making in the name of trying to manage my life was only doing one thing - allowing alcoholism to continue to flourish in my home. All those twists were supporting *alcoholism*, not my life.
I was so sad and soooooo exhausted. I was running in quicksand. Running and running and running, faster and faster. Yet not getting further from the bad or closer to the good. I was sinking deeper and deeper until I could no longer breath or even think straight. I was so deep that I felt one more inch and I'd slip under that heavy quicksand and be stuck forever. So I stopped. I had had enough.
I said no more. I stepped out of the quicksand and took my focus off alcoholism and my alcoholic and put it on myself. I began to manage *my life* not the alcoholism.
Do not support his relapses. His drinking is the quicksand. Stay out of it. What can you do to continue living and to continue to experience happiness, health, energy, and peace?
Al-anon helps many. SR and a personal counselor helped me a lot. Keep reading and the stickies at the top are chucked full of info.