Grieving is the body's natural way to respond to loss. You have to go through it, to overcome it. To really heal
Yet, we don't want to feel the pain so we run away, avoid it, ignore it, poor booze on it, only to realize we're festering, infected & still in pain.
I can't imagine the pain you're in but you can get through it.
I'm praying for you. That you will find peace. That your heart will heal.