I share with you that sense of inevitability...the thought that you just know you are going to drink again so why fight it? It is sort of soul-crushing. I think it stems from the months/years of guilt and shame and lack of self-esteem/confidence. All the good stuff being an alkie sends our way.
Felt so proud and even rejuvenated when I first tried to quit. Now back to feeling disappointed in myself.
But good on you and good luck to you (us) for taking that first step again.