I've just given my AH another chance - don't know which chance it is b/c I've lost count over the last 8 years. I like to think this will be his last chance but I don't know - guess it depends on how far I get in my own CD recovery. I feel strong enough to let him go his own way and either screw it up or not. I feel strong enough to tell him I'm happy he went to his second meeting and finally raised his hand and identified himself as an A to a roomfull of people (many of whom he knows quite well) who did not know he is an A. I am not used to not worrying, not being on eggshells and not jumping at the sound of the front door opening. But I like it enough to believe that I won't go back. That Maya Angelou quote cuts both ways - my AH was not always a selfish drunk - he used to be a great guy. I like to think the great guy he showed me the first time is who he is and that he will find his way back.