But aren't forgiving and giving chances two different things? I think they are. I think they are completely independent of one another. I can forgive you and never give you another chance, and I can give you endless chances without forgiving you.
I think giving chances is more about boundaries and our own discomfort with assessing others.
And what about earning chances? Maybe I would have had more luck with second chances if I'd insisted the betraying party earned it before having it granted.
"Sure you can have a second chance, but you have to earn it."
"How?"
"By completely repairing the damage your messed up first chance created, including rebuilding trust."
"But how can I do it if you won't give me a second chance."
"You figure it out."
Boy, that would have saved me so much trouble, because the truth is most people who want second chances won't bother to figure it out and you are off the hook.