I wanted a family so bad also. Today I have 2 beautiful daughters. Their dad is nowhere around. I left him 2 years ago. It didn't get better...the drinking, when we had our first daughter. It got worse. Then with the 2nd it got A LOT WORSE.
I love my girls and wouldn't trade them for the world. But I wouldn't recommend having children with this man, someone you can't trust. I couldn't trust my XAH at all. I went to work and they went to daycare, which I paid for, while he got drunk all day and messed up the house that I paid for.
Life is a lot better now, as far as single parenting goes. It's hard on this kids sometimes, father/daughter things that they don't get to do. And as much as I try to hide it and show a strong front, it's hard on me too. Being the sole financial, spiritual, parental support for children is rewarding but EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. Unless you are ready to give up YOUR life for your children ( LIterally, you have no time to yourself as a single parent) please, please, please don't consider having children with this man. For your sake and theirs.