"I want to have a family so bad"
Why would you want to start a family with someone who cannot even take care of himself? A good father is a man who can take care of his family. An unselfish man who works and provides, is loving, nurturing, and solid as a rock.
You are an adult woman and are hurt by this guys actions. You really want kids to grow up feeling like you do now?
Love will never cure the disease of alcoholism. Without treatment, this disease will only progress, so the unacceptable life you are living now, is only going to get worse in years to come. Keep reading and posting, you are not alone.
Peace.