Hi, kayellelove4. Reading your post made me think of my own situation, except it's my fiancee. She also, at times, says she has a problem, but I'm not sure that she really believes that. She won't go to meetings, though. She says that the people there are swapping one addiction for another--instead of drinking, they go to AA. She's convinced that she can stop drinking with sheer will power, and that she can be a casual drinker. The problem is, we tried casually drinking, and it ended up with her having a panic attack that led to an at-home detox. A week to the day after her last drink, she asked me if we could grab a beer. I was floored! I said that I didn't want to, and she said that as adults, we ought to be able to have a drink now and then. When I told her to remember our "experiment" with casual drinking, she said that we "didn't do it right." Apparently, in her mind, we should have started with beer instead of wine.
Based on the advice I'm getting in this forum, I'm going begin attending Al-Anon meetings. Maybe you should try too, Don't let him brow-beat you into not going (this is a fear that I have with my fiancee). Make it clear to him that the meeting is for you, not him, and that if he wants to get better, he needs to look into AA.
I really wish love were enough. I love my fiancee with all my heart, and I tell her so several times a day, but the desire for alcohol remains. That said, I believe that love is an important component. Yes, the alcoholic needs to recover for themselves, but I think it is helpful to remind them that they are missing out on what could be a wonderful life with their loved ones through their drinking.
Best of luck to you.