thank you all for your input, I agree the pot smoking should be put to rest or it will lead to bad things. I don't think he is using at this point, he is a very different person still from the person he was when using so I'm hopeful he isn't. as far as living with his mom goes, he really doesn't have a lot of options on the matter, and I think not only is he an addict, but a codependent for her..& her the same for him. I understand I put myself in this situation and it's my decision to stay in it. I just feel like everyday there is another challenge an I have a hard time finding strength day after day..I guess that's what brings me here. my very rough days. now I'm just rambling, thanks again all for your advice and understanding!