I used to mix Oxy and Temazepam with alcohol. Good feeling. Less good though, when you started to think you might actually be dying because of respiratory depression. When they say 'don't mix these drugs,' they usually have a reason for saying it.
I know exactly what you mean by wanting to stop, but not being able to because at the same time you want to stay where you are. That's addiction though, that's what it does.