When kids want to contact their AF
I have been trying to have as little contact as possible with my AH. We very recently separated, and he claims he has been clean for 7 days. DOC is cocaine.
The problem is that our 2 kids (9 and 10 years) want to keep in contact with him. I don't know what to do about that. I have explained addiction to them and they understand that it drives him to make very bad choices. But they still believe him every time he says he's sorry and will never do it again.
I want to protect them and feel it is my duty to do so, but I also see them displacing their anger toward their AF at me when I impose no contact rules for them. It is hurtful to me when they get angry, but what concerns me more is that they are not processing their anger toward their AF.
Last night my daughter sneaked downstairs and called him while I was upstairs. I asked her afterward if it made her feel bad, and she said no, that she felt a lot better after she talked to him. I think, through my example, the kids have become very codependent. I plan to start taking them to alateen meetings. What else can I do in this situation?