I hear you loud and clear and I struggled with putting down my opiates and benzos, etc just as you are. I also suffer from chronic pain due to severe nerve damage from chemotherapy and I was given meds easily. Too easily.
Oxys, Percs, Vicodin, Xanax and Klonopin are just to name a few of what I was on for years and then to top it all off I was given Provigil to keep me from nodding out constantly. Lots of doctors and lots of pills and I knew I was getting into trouble but my doctors "assured" me I wasn't an addict but just physically dependent.
Then I accidentally OD'd and my choice was pretty much made for me.
See how many doctors will prescribe you pain meds after that. See how fast they run.
After my hospitalization I had no choice but to detox from everything all at once. A week of absolute living hell. After years of walking that fine line between addiction and chronic pain management I finally found a good neurologist and a great pain management doctor that I trust and I'm on Suboxone and Neurontin for my chronic pain and I have my life back. But it took a very long painful time to get here. But I did it and so can you.
Your inner voice is warning you that you're heading for trouble and you should listen to it. I didn't listen to mine and had I did I could have avoided so much additional pain.
I'm glad you were heading to a meeting and I wish you all the best.