Thank you so much for those words. Bit by little bit I am feeling better. I'm doing everything I can to get better. To have a healthy mind, body and soul . I hope I still have another 40 or so years to live and I don't want to go to bed every night not remembering the end of the night. I want to be present in my children's lives before they grow up. I want to see them get married (or not) and help them becoming happy and successful adults. I worry that they may develop drinking problems after seeing their parents abuse alcohol. I have so much to stay sober for... Before its too late. I'm so grateful for this site. Thanks again. Xo