Leslie, I am in pain. I have experienced a whole lot of it, and I am still healing.
I work at it every day. I work to be a better, happier, healthier person not only for me, but especially for my son.
I really have come a long, long, looong way from where I used to be.
The reason I felt myself becoming defensive is because I put my history out there.
I KNOW who I am and where I have been, I do not need someone simply restating what I already put on the table and offering me nothing other than forget al anon seek other meetings.
Saying "you are the adult child of alcoholics and this makes total sense" what in the world does that have to offer me for advice or anything?
You know what it sounded like to me at that moment?, "i know your story".
And not only saying it once, but twice..
I'm not trying to be argumentative here, I am just saying that I had a weak moment, I am past it now, and that in that point of weakness, someone said something to me that was no help to me what so ever.
I feel like I put myself out there and I was labeled.
And I do attend the occasional NA video meeting online when I can, and that is not easy.
Like I said before, the meetings are SERIOUSLY at strange hours/hours that are hard for me to work around.
Mid-day meetings are difficult because I am usually at school or taking care of my son.
Mid night meetings- just NOT going to happen.. I'm already asleep for a few hours by the time that starts up.
And there are only meetings once per day for each group. Kind of crappy.. I'm hoping it changes soon.
And I know it's mainly because they are having trouble finding people to host the meetings.. not much I can do about that though. I do not have the experience to host one myself.
I'm working on it. I truly am. Baby steps. I don't like going backward.. I'm trying to keep a steady pace in the right direction.