I think this is my first post in the Substance Abuse area. I've struggled with benzos and opiates for a long time. I've been prescribed them for panic disorder and chronic pain - I'm good at visiting several doctors for the same complaint and getting prescriptions. I time the visits at about every three months and say "oh the panic attacks/back pain is getting better - I'm in therapy and go to physiotherapy, but occassionally I need a xanax/oxy, and here's my latest MRI/CT scans" I genuinely have a messed up back/neck from several accidents and I present very well so drs prescribe me whatever I ask for. I'm just careful not to use the same dr or drugstore too often.
I love the feeling of mixing opiates and benzos, especially with alcohol. It's the best feeling in the world and I don't want to give it up, even though I know I despearately need to. I go to AA - in fact I'm going to AA in a few minutes, with half a bottle of wine, 2 oxys and a xanax under my belt.
I had 2.5 years clean and sober and relapsed about a year ago after getting involved with someone who turned out to be an active alcoholic/addict. I've been around AA for 4 years but never been to NA.
