I don't have a sponsor and I'm not working the steps as they are described. I did do the equivalent of a step four though. I did seven or eight months of very intensive journaling every day. I am a Buddhist and work much more the eightfold path. From a Buddhist perspective I see three major goals in each program. One is giving up the illusion of control. Two is letting go of the past. You can't achieve serenity if you can't let go of the anger, pain, hurt, shame and all those other emotions that you are still carrying around. Last is to accept yourself as you are and be at peace with it. Doesn't mean you can't change but that process of change is part of who you are now.
Just my two cents.
Your friend,