Great reply's everyone I really appreciate the wisdom on this forum, I am definitely taking it one day at a time. Dee and Anna I completely feel every ache, and pain in my body its so weird but I guess my body is just fixing itself I'm starting to feel again and not be fuzzy from all the drinking. Bitmap I got your message I'm definitely open and would like to look into AA. It amazes me how something I took for granted the social aspect of drinking would cause so many repercussions for my mind and body. Before I left the military I would never have a need or reason to drink. I moved got out of the military and it seemed everyone was social drinking everywhere after work meetings, to celebrate an occasion, just because its nice out... I guess with my father being a recovering alcoholic it was easier for me to develop into alcoholism. Again everyone thank you so much I am glad I found this site and look forward to continued conversations.