It hurts so badly to love this man and not have him love me or care back.
(((((j2d)))))
He probably does not know at this juncture. I know that my first 6 months into recovery, I clung to my sponsor and MY meetings as they were the only place I felt SAFE an not likely to drink. I was also dealing with a brain full of mush and fog:
I had no clue as to who I was.
I had no idea if I even liked myself or not, let alone loved myself.
If I didn't love myself, how could I love anyone else.
I was starting to feel all sorts of 'emotions' that I had buried for years under alcohol and drugs.
I not only did not know what they felt like any more, I didn't know the names of what I was feeling, I would have to explain to my sponsor so she could put a name to what I was feeling.
If you would start going to meetings on your own, and/or get some one on one therapy, you would then be more focused on you, and figure out why you seem to be so 'needy.'
I M H O, the relationships that I have seen work, is when each person in the relationship works their own program to the max, and keeps their own side of the street clean. Then they come together with "new awareness" of themselves.
J M H O based on my many years in recovery, first from alcohol and drugs and then working on MY codependency issues.
Love and hugs,