Welcome to the SR family!
I hope you will make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed. You can vent, share, rage as often as it takes.
Is it possible that during the course of the progressive nature of addiction, that you became addicted to the drama of your loved one?
I know for myself, I spent my time, energy and thoughts trying to anticipate and control the fallout from my addicted loved ones actions. I became obsessed with his behavior or lack of behavior. I learned I was trying to control his behavior with my actions. I was co-dependent.
Have you read Melody Beatties book "Codependent No More"? It helped me, and still helps me everytime I read through it.
I am glad you are seeking your own recovery through Al-anon. I hope you will find a healthy home group to begin your own personal recovery.