just2dizzy

I am new to this forum and I have been reading through various posts and threads, but I can't find anything that really relates what I'm going through right now. My husband of 7 years has recently found AA and he is also addicted to prescription drugs. He has been sober for 8 days now and started going to AA this week and already has a sponsor. His sponsor is an ex coworker.

When my husband told me that he was going to AA I was shocked. My brother is an alcoholic and drug addict and I was exposed to alateen at a very young age. I am familiar with the program of Ala-Anon, and have exercised a lot of what I have learned over the years. I was so thrilled and proud of my husband for trying to get sober and vowed to be supportive. Little did I know this past week has been the most agonizing week of my life.

His sponsor came over this week and we talked. He told me that I was angry and I am. For 7 years I have been his enabler and been treated less than I deserved and I'm still not sure how I stayed all of these years. I think I just got use to this dysfunctional relationship and came to believe this was normal all the while living in agony.

This week he has made a meeting every day and afterward he and his sponsor go to lunch and talk about the meeting and his step work. He has become totally enthralled in the program which is wonderful but he is not spending any time at home anymore. He is ignoring my calls. He goes to meetings with his sponsor and stays at his house until late. I'm hurt and angry and feel that he is totally shutting me out of his life. He is emotionally, mentally and physically checking out. He is also sleeping on the couch. A part of me feels he is doing this to hurt me because he is hurting to and I am his whipping boy. Another part of me wants to feel that he is trying to figure all of this out and soon things will be back to normal. I should add this is the first time he has checked out like this. He has checked out before, but he has always left and we have stayed separated anywhere from weeks to months. He was usually on a drunk when he left. I asked him yesterday if he could create a balance with his recovery and our marriage and try not to shut me out. He reply was yeah but I have a busy weekend. He is currently at some bike rally with his sponsor that belongs to a sober biker group and will be going to church with him tomorrow at his biker church. He won't return my texts or calls and I told him that I couldn't take the pain of him shutting me out and I was considering leaving. I also told his sponsor and he pretty much jumped my case. He told me that I couldn't expect change over night and I don't and that I needed to go to Ala-Anon and get a sponsor so that I can be supportive and that I was pushing him away. How am I pushing him away when I have agreed to go to Ala-Anon and get help myself. I went to my first meeting this afternoon and no one showed up. It was very disappointing because I have so many questions and confusion and I have no where to turn. I feel more alone now than I did when he was abusing drugs and alcohol. I feel completely rejected and I don't know how I can be supportive if he is not taking an active part in our marriage. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.