By the way, I'm sorry for what you're going through with your husband.
My brain hurts from all the thinking. While I'm not really all that co-dependent I still like to solve problems. I tend to obsess about them until they're solved. I'm pretty tenacious. Sometimes to my own detriment. So I keep reminding myself, this isn't my problem to fix. I can't fix this. His sobriety is not my responsibility. I'm just trying to decide what my limits are. I don't think they're too far in the distance and I have to tell myself it's okay if that is the solution.
I was married before, myself. My step-son went to jail for a time. I kept thinking "why do I know how to put money on someone's account in jail?" I learned things I never wanted to know.