There isn't an ALANON chapter within a hundred miles of here. I'm not really all that co-dependent. My fiance and I have been together in a long-distance relationship for about two years. The most I've done to enable him is to stay in a relationship with him. It's been in the last year that his drinking has escalated into a problem. I've spoken to his family (he'd already come clean to them) and they've assured me he's not had a problem in the past.
I've not decided what to do yet. I want to be supportive, but I also know I have to do what's best for myself. I don't want to run because I believe he really does want to quit. He did things that were completely irrational and out of character for himself(no, he didn't cheat on me) thinking he was hiding his problem. I know him pretty well so I sussed it out fairly quickly.
When the drinking escalated I began speaking to him gently about the problem until finally telling him I wouldn't marry a drunk. He told me he'd stop over and over and didn't. When he finally decided he'd stop to prove to me he could, it was harder than he thought it would be and it scared him and forced him to face the fact he has a bigger problem than he thought.
He mostly drinks about the equivalent of two beers during the weekdays and on the weekends who knows how much. Sometimes it's a few beers, but he strung together quite a few weekends where he started on hard liquor when he got home on Friday and drank until Sunday night. He was buying pints and when he'd empty one, he'd go buy another and another. I have no idea, really, how much. I don't think he really does either. But when he'd get started he'd drink until he fell asleep and then wake up in the morning and start over, with hair of the dog, and drink until he fell asleep that night again until Sunday night.
I will admit things hit a fevered pitch about two weeks ago when I had to face the reality of the situation. I've been walking around in a fog for the past two weeks just trying to get my head around this. I've been reading, reading, reading. He wants to try to do this on his own and is saying all the right things, but he did break my trust so I'm not sure how to approach this.
I can't decide if he's really done with it or if he thinks he can still dabble.