Originally Posted by
Kindeyes 
The addicts behavior tells much of the story. Their behaviors created the mistrust. It will be their behavior that regains it. They get to own that and someone in a strong recovery program will acknowledge that and embrace it.
THAT really impacted me. It's SO true. His behavior has caused me to question him, though I very rarely verbally do so, but he knows when I am suspicious of him because my demeanor towards him changes whether I want/mean for it to or not. I put up my walls so that I can protect myself and our son.
I am slowly learning to identify and deal with my triggers associated with his addiction/recovery. I know that the first step to addressing/fixing a problem is to acknowledge its existence in th first place, which I have done.
I hit a really positive note in my future today though, and things are looking up.
I am high, but on LIFE. I feel good, I've had the boost of confidence I need in my schooling, and hopefully before the year is over I will be attending college, which was NEVER a plan or a want for me in previous years.
I am doing all of this despite my partner's addiction, so he doesn't have as much of a hold on me as I'd have thought months ago.
I'm even going to try to work it out so I can sit in on more online meetings.
It's a journey, I'm still fixing me.. but it's a delight for me to look back and see how far I've come.
I'm just happy to be healthy and alive, the rest I can work on
Thanks for your support everyone. I love my SR family!