Triggers are tough, there's no doubt about it.
The addicts behavior tells much of the story. Their behaviors created the mistrust. It will be their behavior that regains it. They get to own that and someone in a strong recovery program will acknowledge that and embrace it.
I remember hearing Tom Mann speak a few years ago. A recovering alcoholic, he admitted to getting extremely annoyed by his wife's mistrust of him in the early days of his recovery. She would question him unmercifully when he returned home from an AA meeting. She thought the meeting might have been an excuse for him to spend a little time in the bar. It really ticked him off. Eventually he realized that his past behavior caused her reactive behavior so he changed himself. Instead of coming home and waiting for her to put him through the interrogation, he would walk up to her, give her a kiss, and breathe heavily in her face so she could smell his breath. Then she didn't need to ask him whether he had been drinking. It was the beginning of re-establishing trust that had been broken for years.
Just thought I'd share that.....it made sense to me.
Gentle hugs
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