anyone else feel this way?
My RAF(fiance) has been clean for I don't even know how long(a month give or take a few days.. I can't even attempt to keep track anymore, stresses me out.. and it's his recovery, not mine)
BUT every time his phone goes off from a call or text my skin crawls.
My stomach gets all tied up in knots, and I get irate.
It's frustrating to me, because I'm the type to give someone the benefit of the doubt until they give me reason not to.
Sure, he has more than given me reason not to in the past, but I am trying to build the trust back up..
It's just hard to do.
Especially knowing that 98% of the time when he gets a phone call when he is home it is his dealer calling..
It's just scary and frustrating, and I wish I could tell my mind and body to just shut the hell up and give me some peace!!
I've been doing better recently.
I'm doing my school work, even writing some poetry and trying to work on the various "books" I have in the works.
I'm just so frustrated that stuff like this still throws me through the loop.
Blah.
Anyone else?
Any thoughts to help ease my mind?
I'd like to know I'm not alone on this one.