It's great at 8
I awoke inspired this morning. I hadn't slept well the night before, so I slept really well last night. As I woke up, I was remembering people and events that I hadn't thought of in ages; literally, years. These were people from 30+ yrs ago that were in my life. So...I decide to test the memory a bit and see if I could take a nostalgic tour of my youth. Wouldn't ya know, it worked?! I saw faces, remembered names and events that I know I wouldn't/couldn't have when I stopped drinking 8 months ago. In fact, I've been worried about permanent brain damage since quitting. I still am, but it seems I'm regaining a little more each day. Today was fantastic.
So, it occurred to me that there are quite a few folks still struggling to get a day, a week, month or 90 days, and it might help them to know how my life has changed in the last 8 months.
I can best assimilate it to facing a mountain to climb. Getting started up the hill is hard, because it takes a different energy, and resolve. So, we set out, breaming with confidence; whiteknuckling, if you will. After the initial energy that keeps us going dissipates, we have to strengthen our resolve in a different way. We look up the mountain, and see that the air is clear up there. We can imagine the beautiful view, and the healthful feeling of lungfuls of clear, crisp breath.
I am just enough up the mountain to start realizing those benefits. Memory and thoughts are crisper. I don't sweat at the drop of a pin anymore. Anxieties have dissipated. I'm telling myself the truth about my life, instead of making it up as I go. My true, inner strengths and weaknesses are surfacing, and it's okay; those define the person God made me to be. I'm feeling closer in my relationship with God. I don't judge others, as I'm humbled by the realities of who I had become. I can forgive; others and myself. My senses are heightened. I haven't suffered the seasonal allergies I normally do (probably because of the absence of beer). I'm starting to consider the welfare of others as much as my own; and truly so, not simply saying so. Although my relationships have a lot of healing to do, they are daily getting stronger, and the daily blowups have almost completely abated. My kids, thankfully, have bounced back and seem to have forgiven the most quickly.
These are but a few of the changes that I've realized over the last 8 months. I am breathing easier, and accepting of help from others. I'm no longer the sole troubador trudging through the tundra of life. I'm among friends.
I am not done climbing the mountain, but I've developed a new rhythm in life that is so different from before. It's beautiful.
So...you have my prayers that you will keep putting one foot in front of the other. You'll love the results!