I would spin it and think about what you want. What
you need. What is acceptable? What is a deal breaker? What are your boundaries?
The answers to those questions are very important. Those answers (figuring them out and then honoring them) will help you way more then just monitoring him. People can jump through all the hoops we set out - and still not meet our criteria for a good match in a partner. It took a lot of work for me to even give myself permission to have criteria and then more work to figure out what I needed. I could not articulate them at all.
You can make yourself crazy figuring out what he needs or should be doing. It is hard enough figuring out what you need - but at least it is possible
