oh...one more thing- There's a great sticky thread about brain function and the neurochemical aspects of being the 'other' in the life of an addicted/alcholic person.
The quote below and more information can be found here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...loved-one.html
....The chemical changes in the brain of a loved one should be understood to help speed recovery. Chemical changes in the brain of someone who is constantly in a state of stress, fear, anxiety and anger are not insignificant and are accompanied by withdrawal symptoms just like an addict who stops using.....
(emphasis mine)