I fall into the enabling trap over and over, despite my best efforts. I never want to do it, but I let my AH wear me down until I would rather just give him $10 than hear him whining. I even justify it to myself by saying things like "there are more important things in life than money". I inevitably feel guilty and angry later. Sometimes I do it because I know that if I don't his enabling mom or siblings will. It's like an enabling contest!
They make us feel so cruel when we set boundaries. I guess it's like a child who has never been corrected - the first time someone puts them in line they are going to have an adverse reaction.
The ads are powerful. I wish there was more 'enabler education' out there.