Last night I dreamed that I was at an amusement park with my sister, and an old drinking buddy and some other people. Someone offered me a beer and I drank it. The next thing I knew, I was waking up (in the dream) and my drinking buddy friend told me that we had been so drunk that a police officer had to bring us home, that we were lucky we weren't arrested. All I could think of was how I had blown my 5+ months of sobriety, and I was so upset and disappointed in myself.
Then I woke up in real life and had one of those confusing moments where I thought I was still in the dream and felt all the shame and disappointment of drinking. Then I realized it had to have been a dream, because I stayed in last night, read some of my latest novel I'm reading, and went to bed early! I was so relieved to find out it was just a dream and my sobriety was safe!! (I also dreamed of driving through a really bad car wreck where dead people were just laying on the road and cars were smashed everywhere and people, including me, were just driving through/over everything as if life was going on as normal-- I don't know what these dreams are trying to tell me-- I'm crusing by the wreckage that COULD be me, could be my life if I kept drinking?!)
I am so happy and grateful to be sober today.
