I just wish that he would come out and say "hey, I'm going to drink and you need to come to terms and make your own decision about it."
I doubt he would say that, because he knows it is a dealbreaker for you.
Please wait on marriage and children until you know for sure he has not been drinking for a long time. Like a year.
You need to make a decision about it whether he admits it or not.
This is your life. And any possible children. I have experience with that too.
Beth