Thats what im wondering. My "Friend" or "lover". Would take active measures by proving I can trust him by deleting any girls from his phone, calling me before bed, letting me know what he would be doing all the time. However, when he would get drunk he would say random things that made me feel I need to dout his trust. I appreciated the actions he would do but he didnt realize the drunken words were making it hard for me to trust him. I battled with "Should I trust his sober actions or his words while drunk?" I decided I deserve both actions and words. The action of him getting help for drinking would help me trust him better but thats up to him. I think trust with an addict is the hardest part of the disease and it makes me feel a bit crazy sometimes lol.