hi Whiteknuckles.. sorry to hear about issues you're having. I'd definitely go and get some counselling.. even without your husband.
It doesn't sound a good basis for a marriage.. I was with someone for a couple of years and anything I did was wrong, he was always grumpy. I kept thinking it was all my fault as he blamed me and had a go at my drinking. Might not be a similar situation but you don't deserve to be around someone if they are constantly in a bad mood.
I also don't get why you should be expected to do all the cooking, then get hurt by his brother. His family sound as if they think it's okay to do that... which it isn't.
Sit him down and speak to him, and let us know how it goes.