Thanks Amy, I get what you're saying. I think focusing too much on the details IS throwing my perspective on the whole situation off.
How long did it take for your ex to show his true colors? Since we've been together for 3 years I feel like that's long enough for the "new" to wear off and guards let down, but on the other hand we're not married and he's really wanting kids. He is really good to me day to day when he isn't drinking.