WhiteKnuckles - I'm so sorry you're in pain over this. It should be a time of growth and harmony between the two of you - not sniping and bitterness. I do like the advice you were given here. I, too, think a serious talk about what's going on is necessary. I suppose you'll have to pick just the right time, since he's not very approachable.
I would have been horrified to find out I was expected to make dinner! That's awful, & I think you handled it so graciously. I wonder why he wasn't more grateful? It's a puzzle, and I understand why you're tired of being unappreciated & misunderstood.
Glad you started this thread. I hope you'll get some comfort from it.