The first 30 days, while she was in rehab, were wonderful. It was like a heavy weight being lifted off my shoulders.
The next 30 days were good, she was busy with her "90 in 90" and still on the pink cloud...but as I warily watched, things were, well, better.
At 90 days the pink cloud was gone and I started seeing that some of the behaviors that I thought were part of the alcoholism, ran deeper than that. I felt like I was white knuckling it. There were a lot of long silences, and intense feelings of anxiety, a lot of thoughts of "Well, what now!?"
There's an old saying: "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." What got me through the first 90 days, the first 180 days, the first 365 days were the changes in my life. I don't know if I helped her stay sober, but I know that Al-anon helped me stay sane. Or maybe get sane.
If you can, learn to focus less on him and more on yourself.