Originally Posted by
justrae83 
Isnt it strange that we always want what we cant have? I knew i needed to leave my ex even though I LOVED HIM SO MUCH, i would have married him in a heartbeat if he would of been sober. He couldnt do that I told me my expectations where to high, all i asked was for him to respect me, love me, want to do things with me and be sober. This was to much.
Justrae -- This is a big problem here... "all" you asked of him was to be a bunch of things he is
not .... respectful, loving, considerate and sober. Around here we call that "shopping for bread in a hardware store".
Your suffering is partially due to the fact that you are not able to accept or even see him for what he really is! You are in love with the potential you see in him! That kind of thinking will get us into trouble every time. We just set ourselves up for a world of hurt when we expect things from someone who is simply
not capable of giving them to us! It's like asking you to be 6' tall when you're only 5'2". It can't be done. When I finally learned to either accept my partner the way he is or move the hell on, that's when the light bulb finally clicked on for me! It's impossible for us to
mold someone into the guy we want. It never, never works and it only fuels resentment on both sides of the relationship.
Maybe take some time to think about these things and you might grow into a more comfortable acceptance and compassion -- not only for him, but most of all for yourself!
(((Hugs))) I hope you are feeling better soon.