I'm just catching up here and 2 things I want to knock around:
1) When I was volunteering at the DV center I distinctly remember being told in our training that either parent has the right to take the children anywhere they like. It is only when a court has ordered otherwise (as in separation or divorce orders) that it would be considered kidnapping. In other words, you can up and take your children to Venezuela if you wanted and there's not much he could do about it. (And vice versa, of course.) You would most definitely have to check with your lawyer about that before packing those bags! So....maybe hold off on that divorce proceeding if you want to explore that option...?
2) If you went to trial on your assault charge, and especially since your daughter is a witness, could there be some way of demanding a lie detector test?? Or could you volunteer to take one?? It's your word against his and HE's the one with the RO against him! Sheesh!!! Where's the justice????