Omg.....truly my story! Drinking sick of it, found a nice little text, blew a gasket and moved him out. Still love him today and yesterday but the text sent me over the edge, if the drinking wasn't enough then women. It hurts and I miss him but same thing, stops drinking only to start again a few months later. I don't think your wrong but I struggle with it too. Who cares if you look bad, likely you've put up with too much already. They way i try to look at it....Boundaries are all I have left. I have tried love, support and those haven't worked. I love him enough to let him try to fix his self and pray it will allow me to work on myself.