I have felt some of the same frustrations, and with some meetings more than others. The bottom line was …..what am I going to do about it? I decided on several strategies. Here are just two.
The first was to toss an idea out that would force people to think. Well …some people to think. This happened in tonight’s big book study. I pointed out that Bill and Bob (not to mention dozens of the other first 100 alcoholics in AA) got and stayed sober for years without doing the 12 steps. In fact Bill was sober for six months without the steps, meetings, or even another alcoholic to talk to (who were more than a few days sober, as far as I know). This rattles cages at times, but it’s the truth and it does force people to think. If it’s done in the right spirit, it can be valuable. It can help (some) people to become a bit more flexible in their thinking. It can also get at some of more subtle aspects of “how it works”.
A somewhat more effective ploy, is to listen carefully for problems people have with the program and seek to come up with something to say that might be of benefit to them. This is exceptionally easy to do actually, and you can see the results in their subsequent shares. I used to hear “I turn my will over but take it back…turn it over… take it back” ad nauseum at meetings. I started talking about my belief that this is literally impossible to do. People make their own decisions, and that no one, not even God wants to take that away from us. The question for me is ….how closely does my behavior conform to what my HP would have me do? In my view, it’s just a little better way to think about the idea. It’s helped a few people who were getting hung up on the language. This also works well for the AA notion of powerlessness.
I guess the bottom line is that we are all dealt different hands. The important thing is what we do with them. I need to stay occupied, and I need to do some good. At present, what I contribute is much more important to me than what I get.