Originally Posted by
outtolunch 
One of my daughter's former long term psychiatrists touts " nothing you do for a child is wasted". This fed right into my growing codependency and enabling behaviors.
One further thought on this topic is stigma. Those who choose not to enable can be stigmatized by not doing ENOUGH for their children, spouse, parent, loved one. Or fearing what others may think if they discipline their children or allow them to face the consequences of their behaviors; leave their spouse; stop visiting their parent. Everyone has an opinion of what someone should or shouldn't do. It's often a lose/lose situation. Many times the family members are looked at as doing "too much" or "too little". It's never a Goldilocks tale with a "just right" unless the outcome is considered "acceptable" by society/health professionals/etc.
Addiction is epidemic. It sure would be nice if there was a one-size-fits-all solution.
gentle hugs
ke