I know this hurts terribly, Jolinda. Sadly, it is a common part of addiction and what you may want to think about is how long you want to live like this.
I found it very hard to keep my sanity while living with the insanity of addiction, in my case it was my son. But there came a time when I realized that it wasn't going to end any time soon and I just could not live one more day like that.
That was my bottom or turning point. It hurt terribly, but it was the beginning of recovery for me, before I went down with him.
Hugs