Something you guys have to understand is that BF dad is not a bad guy. He has had a very difficult time since The day he gave BF the ultimatum to get help or leave. *When BF left and disappeared....his dad did not handle it well. *His wife (BF stepmom) dis not handle it well. * Right or wrong They had a lot of pain and a lot of guilt.*
BF dad did some crazy stuff.... Their marriage was on the verge of collapse. *
I don't think his dad meant this couples therapy as an insult. I think his motive was that he hoped it would be beneficial to us just starting out as a couple; planning to move in together, and coping with BF drug issues.*
Why not pay for it ourselves? *Well honestly I had never thought about therapy because (don't laugh) I think we - as a couple are doing ok.*
His dad and his stepmom went through this program, so I think he thought he was being kind offering it to us. *I really don't even think he was using me in this situation to manipulate BF because he presented the idea to him when I wasn't even there. *I actually never spoke a word to his dad about this matter. *BF and I talked about it but just briefly.*
BF did ask me to come over that day; but it wasn't to talk to his dad about this. It was really because he was upset finding out about some of the crazy things his dad had done after he Had left CA.
I didnt go over until kinda late; so I didn't interfere with any of their discussions.
Like I said for a moment I questioned -should he have to deal with that alone- consequences of his actions....but I decided no.
I guess in all honesty.... I don't have issues with the money because my family has always been generous like this also and there are no strings attached.
It's a concept of giving freely just because you want to. It's actually very simple.
I know BF dad does have motivation for part of what he does- but I still feel like he does it with a good heart and with good intentions.
BF knows I'm loyal to him; not his dad. But if I think his dad is right about something then I will tell him that also. Just how I am.*
You have to be who you be....